9/28/13

private

so it's been a long time since i last posted a blog. somewhere along the way, I've tried numerous times, with all the money, time and effort I've had on a very special life goal which I've set - i guess it was always and will always be the thing that I wanted most. 

However, financially incapable, opportunities came which I could not grabbed. I guess it is not the right time. 

Everybody falls sometimes, life has its ups and downs. You know, but life goes on. Life can be unfair, not everything you want - no matter how hard you want it and how hard you work to get it - you just can't achieve it. Perhaps it is just not your time yet. Perhaps.. yes, perhaps.. But you know it, I shall wait, don't worry my little darling, I still got you on my mind - one day i'll make it. One fine day, i'm not sure when.. 

So unable to proceed with the only thing that i wanted most - i'm forced to just cope with life as is and find some other areas of interest in life where I can actually be doing, just so I'm not all lost. I've lost, yes, I have. For days, but I'm at a better place of emotional balance right now. I've started to accept life as is - that it will not be better, things will not be better, and there's nothing i or anybody else can do to change the situation. Life goes on - so deal with it. 

As per usual, I've lost weights, lots of weights, to the point that it was almost the only thing that I could do to myself that would bring me a sense of satisfaction. =)) hahahha.. then of course life just had to throw in my face another difficult situation - then I was so down and started eating again. Then i gained weight. :P bleh, typical, non? Roller coaster ride i'm on, @_@ .. my weight stumbles up and down like no other.

I've started to not wear make up, started not to care about how I look. I just gave up, you know? When i think - well life is not gonna be better so why give a fck?!.. :P ... I've encountered the real ugly truth with wanting and working for the money - and failed, savings and worked my ass off - and still failed. Life is tough. Financial insecurity has gotten the worst of me. Safe to say, I was never ever in the whole of my life being this desperate. I've lost the life I had, i guess i'm not the only one. So now i'm coping with this current life stage that I am in. Slowly 1 step at the time.

I'm having troubles with just accepting myself as is ?! or have i changed too much, gave up too much that now I just don't know who i am anymore?

when we're stripped bare of all those materialistic fancy things - and money - well, what have I got left, my bare soul does not seem to be my bare soul anymore. I don't know where it is, too much has changed. 

You know, waking up another day - always a little disappointed, but still soldier on, waiting for the right opportunities, doing mundane tasks to make a living, too small of an amount - but a small amount is better than nothing.

I don't want to deal with the past, I've hide and I will continue to. It is much too painful to be reminded of the life i once had. I guess this is how being a grown up feels like. I'm way too old now so I just need to soldier on when life gets tough. 

I don't know what i've become. don't know how life would be even just in 3 months time. i don't know what is my fate, what will i be by next year. I am unable to set close goals to achieve anytime. I am ashamed, as low as can be.

No more tears to cry, you know, just feel the nothingness... and .. well, breath just so you're alive, work just so you're working, eat just to survive, count every little pennies left in my pocket - hate that my other half doesn't give a shit about our insecure financial stage that we're in, I guess i'm the only one left in this drama that's still not quite there - not quite reach and at the stage of accepting life as is?!

you know, i don't know what I want anymore. Except for 1 thing. I need money, money makes the world go round, i'm working and it's not enough, failure taste as bitter as can be. however, stood up so nobody could see that i was broken, but i'm not sure if i'm walking again...

7/2/13

haiii jayne

a few outfit inspo of the fashionista Jayne Min

Thú vị với phong cách menswear "khác người" của Jayne Min 8

Thú vị với phong cách menswear "khác người" của Jayne Min 9

Thú vị với phong cách menswear "khác người" của Jayne Min 27

Thú vị với phong cách menswear "khác người" của Jayne Min 30

am loving ripped loose jeans mix with t-shirts/shirts/denim shirts/ ... atm.. but mostly with a simple black/white tee

3/29/13

my new bebe

:) hubby has gotten me another baby boy. He's an Exotic Shorthair beautiful little babe.

(the one on the right)

:) also one on the right

I will update more pics of babe later. His name is suDo (pronounce su-đô :-" in vnese)






and here's a pic of my other 2 cats. They're both boys. :-" One at the front is a British Shorthair Blue call suGấu; one at the back is a Scottish Folds Silver name suBeo :"> 

all my cat's name started with "su" cause my 1st ever cats were named sushi& sumo .. :) so now I like to add Su to all their names as middle name.. lol... :))..

3/2/13

tattoo

so Bry and I went to get a tattoo, which is the date of when we actually went out together. ya noeee the gf/bf cheesy shiet. :P that was 5 yrs ago...


and the quote is french.. ;)... 

yes we've been wanting to get this date tatt for a while. finally got it after we got married for half a year. hahaha, we just need to be sure ya noe ;)... :P 

2/26/13

Hanoi 2013 recaps

So here are some of the pictures I've captured during our stay for Tet holiday in Hanoi. :) heaps of friends were back from Australia. We enjoyed every single moments together with our friends ^^...

Some of our friends from Melbourne couldn't make it back this Tet Holiday. Know that you guys are greatly missed by us :-*

To top that off, we enjoyed Tet holiday in the cold weather of Hanoi winter too. ^^ I'm a fan of winter.. lala winter wonderland.. :-"

On the street of Hanoi at Giao Thua 

Hubby & 1 of his best mate :)

Oh Haiiiiiii :)) .. look who's a bag lady.. haha.. or a bag gentleman?? ;) 

Gotta love the view from Metropole Hotel cafe :) perrrfect with red wine shared amongst friends

'Sup homies :)

On the street of Hanoi :)

Dinner with friends :) Melbourne Reunion in Hanoi 2013

Hello 2013

after watching Fireworks we went off to a small laneway near HoanKiem lake to had Ice lemon Teas ;) Hanoi style


2/25/13

black n' white

in the mood to redecorate our home in all black& white theme...

Lotta Agaton Pia Ulin Bungalow5 001

Lotta Agaton Pia Ulin Bungalow5 004

Lotta Agaton Pia Ulin Bungalow5 008

Lotta Agaton Pia Ulin Bungalow5 005

Lotta Agaton Pia Ulin Bungalow5 006

Lotta Agaton Pia Ulin Bungalow5 003

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Swing

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STIL_INSPIRATION_Bungalow5 003

STIL_INSPIRATION_Bungalow5 004

STIL_INSPIRATION_Bungalow5 005

STIL_INSPIRATION_Bungalow5 006

STIL_INSPIRATION_Bungalow5 007

STIL_INSPIRATION_Bungalow5 009

STIL_INSPIRATION_Bungalow5 013

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Swedish Bachelor Pad Residence Martin Löf Bungalow5 003

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Normann Copenhagen

Bulletin board 2

Bulletin board 3

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AnnaG_Stadshem_Bungalow5_01

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AnnaG_Stadshem_Bungalow5_03

AnnaG_Stadshem_Bungalow5_04

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AnnaG_Stadshem_Bungalow5_05

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and some black'n white home office

amerrymishap_homeoffice_bungalow5_01

amerrymishap_homeoffice_bungalow5_02

Bungalow5 agtigt

Bungalow5 Agtigt

Bungalow5 Agtigt

Bungalow5 Agtigt

Bungalow5 Agtigt

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and how 'bout some great typography arts ?? 





credits:bungalow5

okayyyy now i'm overloaded with black'n white interior decoration ideas... :'(
*sob* all I need to do now is.... erm.... dream? lol.
we're wayyy to bloody busy with work right now that i don't think we can find time to decorate just yet.
*sigh*.. later baby, later